Wednesday, January 13, 2010

my true love

travelin' oma assignment number ten

warning (yes, the second post in a row to begin with a warning): this is a mushy post. but don't worry, it won't be too long because this is a bit of a push for me.

for my travelin' oma assignment, i was supposed to write a mushy love letter to randy, but i am going to take a little bit of a different spin on it and just write about our relationship. i have a hard time expressing these thoughts in writing, so bear with me.

randy and i don't do conventional romance very well. i'm okay with that and usually prefer it that way. sure, we tell each other "i love you," all the time (and mean it), but we don't do big valentine's day or anniversary celebrations and i've never received flowers from randy. i don't leave love notes in his lunch and i've never put on lipstick for him when he comes home.

i love randy because he loves me the way that i want to be loved, not the way that other people expect husbands to love their wives. he doesn't buy me flowers because he knows that i'd rather go to dinner with him using the money he would have spent on flowers. people have heard that and said, "oh, she doesn't really mean that," but randy knows that i don't say things unless i mean them and he trusts me to be honest with him.

i love randy because he lets me be me. he knew that i was independent and strong-willed when he married me and he gives me room to fly when i want to. he is never critical and always encourages me to do things that will help me to maintain and foster my own identity as an individual, not just as a wife and a mother. i think that our relationship works because i try to do the same thing. i married him, knowing that he was a bit of a space cadet, but that with those occasional trips into another world, came fierce creativity and deep spirituality that attracted me to him in the first place.

our expressions of love may not be overt or conventional, but they are there in the little details. we have learned to communicate our love to each other in the way that we understand best and i never doubt randy's love for me. hopefully he feels the same.