Tuesday, December 29, 2009

visions of a library

travelin' oma assignment number seven (sort of... none of the assignments required writing, but i wanted to write a little bit more about the topic)

"I don’t know whether our heavenly home has a television set or a DVD machine, but in my mind’s imagery it surely has a grand piano and a magnificent library. "
- douglas l. callister, your refined heavenly home, BYU devotional address, september 19, 2006-

we are a long ways off from building our own home, but randy and i already know that it will have a library in it and have talked for hours about what it would look and feel like in an ideal world. we have also envisioned and drawn out smaller scale versions, just in case we have to tone it down. hopefully, this is not the case.

tall bookshelves, made of dark wood, line the walls of our library, only breaking for the large windows that let in loads of natural light. ideally, the library is actually two stories tall and there is a catwalk that goes around the second floor level, accessible by a small staircase and supported by beautiful pillars, also made of dark wood with beautiful marbling. rolling ladders provide access to those hard to reach books at the tops of the shelves.

there are large couches in the middle of the library, resting on a large rug that rests on top of a dark hardwood floor (notice a pattern?). these couches are perfect for swallowing you up as you lose yourself in a book. cozy quilts are draped over the back of the couches for quick access. there is also a reading nook in the corner with built in seating that is lower to the ground, perfect for small children to nestle into and turn the pages of children's books, or have someone read to them. of course, the shelves surrounding this nook house all of the children's books.

in the middle of the couches, sits not a coffee table, but a full-sized table, surrounded by chairs. it is a thick table, sturdy, and made of (you guessed it) dark wood. perfect for stacks of books waiting to be explored, space to spread out maps of the world and plan your next adventure, or on a less thrilling afternoon, to sit and do homework at. artwork would pour onto blank canvases at this table and grand ideas would be exchanged among those who grace its presence.

the library wouldn't be complete without a globe tucked in some corner and a dictionary stand, providing easy access for increasing one's vocabulary. have i mentioned the grand piano that is a permanent fixture in the library?

somehow, i picture our library being a high traffic place, yet peaceful. is this all sounding impossibly unreasonable yet? our children will come and go often, hopefully preferring the library experience to that of a television.

someday, i hope to have some version of this library as a reality in my home. i realize that it is going to be expensive, but i am willing to give up nicer things elsewhere in my home to have my dream library. i don't need shiny appliances or granite countertops in my kitchen, just a beautiful home for my books and those who wish to get lost in them.

Monday, December 28, 2009

advice to look back on in a few weeks

travelin' oma assignment number six

appropriately enough, my assignment for today is to leave advice for a new mom. i know that i'm not going to be a new mom in a month when i have our second baby, but i might as well be and have been trying to remind myself of all of that advice that i received two years ago because i know that it is going to be applicable all over again. not to mention the fact that even though i've already done this once, i can't seem to really recall what it was like in any amount of detail that would prove helpful (i think that loss of memory of sleepless nights, etc. is probably a self-defense mechanism). and so, i feel like i'm heading into motherhood with a newborn in many ways for the first time all over again. i've also been trying to set myself up with realistic expectations of what life is going to be like with two children instead of just one. a whole new ballgame...

here it comes, as fast as i can think of it...

have realistic expectations. only put basic things on your to-do list, and don't be hard on yourself if even those don't get done. showering is a feat many days.

accept help. you need it and other people (especially women who have been in your position) are happy to give it. if not, they wouldn't be offering it. you need it, so take it.

try to enjoy the time that you get with your tiny newborn. everyone says it and it may sound cliche, but it is true - they grow up so fast. on the other side of the coin, this is a good thing to remember when you haven't slept in hours and feel ridiculously sleep deprived. it really will pass and life will return to some form of what it was before faster than you think. it may feel like an eternity while you are going through it, but this too shall pass.

sleep when your baby sleeps. i am nervous to even write this because this is what i am most worried about with two. it was one thing to sleep when madeleine was napping because i didn't have another child to watch. now, i will definitely have to sleep if they are ever both sleeping at the same time and i will have to be okay with putting madeleine in front of a movie while diane naps and and sleeping next to her while she watches it. i need to put big stars next to this one. have i mentioned that i love sleep? a little worried about this...

there are so many other things, but these are the big ones that i remember and think that i will need in the coming months. i've also been reminding myself over and over that once diane comes, i need to remember to be sensitive to madeleine's needs and to be patient with her. it is going to be a major adjustment for madeleine and i need to remind myself that it is okay to let diane cry for a while sometimes to give madeleine attention first. remind myself that madeleine will need one-on-one time with me. remind myself that she is not acting out to drive me nuts, but because she misses me. and yet, also remind myself that she will live with a little less attention than she had before and that's okay too.

and that's only the tip of the iceberg. ah, the many unknowns i will face in the next few months. i will be living moment to moment, relying on my motherly intuition and many prayers, and trying to remember that we will all survive it together.

and perhaps, revisiting this post often.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

merry christmas and a happy birthday!

as if she actually knew what christmas morning was all about, madeleine woke up at 5:55 yesterday morning. usually, i can keep her downstairs and entertained for a while, but she insisted on going upstairs. so, i reluctantly woke up randy and we all headed upstairs.



her first glimpse of her stocking and...



the birthday balloons that santa brought her. which she loved.



santa brought all sorts of art supplies in her stocking, which went well with the art easel that randy and i bought for her. imagine that...



i wish my pictures weren't blurry



more looting through her stocking. she took quite a while to do this, pulling out each item and using it before moving on to the next thing.



stickers!



this is what madeleine does when i tell her to smile for the camera.



we gave madeleine a step stool from ikea and she loved it. she also got a tiny pooh figurine from jeanie and she insisted that pooh stand on the stool with her. she would carefully balance pooh on the stool and then cautiously climb up on the corner of the stool, so not as to disturb pooh.





for randy (and let's be honest, myself), i made a flannel quilt. we live in the basement at my grandparent's house and it can get chilly sometimes in the winter. randy is naturally apt to get cold anyway, so i thought that it would be a fun learning project to make a simple flannel quilt that he could curl up in during the winter. it turned out pretty well, although i did realize quickly that flannel is an interesting fabric to work with and not quite as easy as i thought it would be for a beginning quilting project. i am still really happy with the results though. randy loves it too.

after christmas morning at our house and a nap for everyone, we headed up to my parents for the rest of the day.



a head lamp from pa'a.



some time outside in the snow



and after christmas celebrations in the afternoon and a delicious prime rib dinner, we had madeleine's birthday celebration. i can't believe that she is two!



after we sang to her, she didn't want much to do with her cupcake and insisted on a cup of water instead.



she finally licked about two fingerfulls of frosting off the cupcake and then she was done. not really into the whole birthday sweets tradition.



opening a gift from g'ma and pa'a...



the very hungry caterpillar book with a matching quilt, made by my mom



she had to stop and read the book before moving on to opening more presents.



we left the blocks until last, knowing that the other gifts wouldn't get the time of day after she opened them.



sure enough, as soon as they were opened, madeleine beckoned the boys over and everyone enjoyed the blocks.

we had a wonderful, low-key christmas and birthday. we feel immensely blessed to celebrate the birth of our savior and the birth of our daughter on the same day and are grateful for both of their presences in our lives. may you all enjoy the remainder of your holiday season!

Friday, December 25, 2009

blue and brown flannel quilt

started: november 20, 2009
completed: november 30, 2009
dimensions: 72"x87"

notes: made for randy for christmas 2009 in anticipation of a cold winter in grandparent's basement. first completed quilt.

*my quilt journal posts are for record keeping purposes and i have to do a couple to catch up. i am postdating the posts, but those of you with reader will see them.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

a false sense of security

travelin' oma assignment number five

i know that i have had embarrassing moments in my life. in fact, my life is probably one giant embarrassment. i know that i have some qualities that i am embarrassed by from time to time (my loud voice, my inability to keep my mouth shut about my opinions, etc.) and these are almost always the cause of my embarrassing moments, but i really can't think of many specific embarrassing moments in my life that have shaped me. certainly no large ones. which leads me to my next point...

i am oblivious. perhaps that is not an adjective that pops into your mind when you think of me, but in many ways, socially, i am oblivious. i often don't really notice people's social reactions to me. this can be a negative thing and i know that i've been insensitive to certain situations because of it, but it can also be a great self-defense mechanism. i was a HUGE geek in junior high and most of high school, but i didn't care because i really didn't notice it. i ate lunch and hung out with all my nerdy friends and i was happy in my geeky world. many people have terrible memories of junior high and were deeply insecure as teenagers. i was blessed with oblivion.

i was also blessed with parents that instilled me with great self-esteem. and so, even when i wasn't oblivious to my social situation, i often just didn't care because i was confident enough in myself and i knew that even if my peers didn't love me at the moment, i had plenty of people in my life who did love me. this has served me well throughout my life and is something that i will strive hard to pass on to my own children. i'm going to have to sit down with my parents and take some good notes.

Monday, December 21, 2009

repeat offender

travelin' oma assignment number four

i rarely read a book more than once. several members of my family are repeat readers, but i am not part of that club. which is too bad, because i have a terrible memory for details in books. i could have read a book three months ago and barely be able to describe the basic plot to you. i will remember the general feeling i had about the book, but beyond that, i'm not very good about revisiting books mentally, let alone physically.

the funny thing is, i enjoy reading immensely and feel like i get caught away in plots and characters. but apparently, when it comes to long term retention, that's just not how my mind works and i haven't really trained it to be better (i'm similarly bad with movie details). this is why i failed a high school english test on crime and punishment when i had read every single page of that book, whereas my peers who did nothing more than quickly look at the cliff's notes before the test passed with flying colors. i think the book was so long that by the time i had reached the end, i had forgotten the majority of what happened. or maybe i wasn't paying too much attention while i was reading... but i digress.

having said all of that, i have only read a handful of books more than once, and that is usually because my bookclub is reading it, i happened to have read it in the past, and (of course) need to brush up on it. the only book that i have read three times (not including children's books) that i can think of is "to kill a mockingbird." oddly enough, this is the same book that travelin' oma wrote about for her post. actually, when i think about it, it's not that odd. it is a classic book, with moving themes and characters that speak to readers universally. i have read it at different stages of life and gained something very different from it each time. i'm sure this would be the case with almost any book that i choose to reread. knowing myself, i will continue to revisit it at future stages in life.

i know that i should reread books more often, especially given my terrible literary memory. i have a long list of books that i want to reread that i read in junior high and high school but was too immature to really understand. the problem is, there are so many books that i have never read that i also want to read. perhaps i should rotate in one reread every six books, or something like that. and maybe each time i revisit a book, i will remember a few more details than i did the last time.

linford christmas part I

since beth and bruce are leaving on wednesday, we had our first part of christmas at my parent's house last night. any gifts involving beth and bruce giving or receiving were opened, including the christmas pajamas for the grandkids.



madeleine in her new pajamas



perusing her new book from beth and bruce (a big hit!)



elizabeth eating the wrapping paper



this was an attempt to get a picture with all of the grandkids in their new pajamas. i realize that most of these pictures may look the same to you, but i love the progression (especially rachel's meltdown). the chaos that was going on with 5 children and 4 cameras was pretty funny to be a part of.










much easier with just the oldest three



madeleine helped the boys open their gift from beth and bruce



sunday also happened to be matthew's third birthday. he got a new tool set with a tool belt. madeleine and austin helped him load up the belt with all of his tools.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

twinkle twinkle

this is a video of madeleine singing "twinkle, twinkle, little star." or rather, it is a video of me singing it and madeleine chiming in at the end of each phrase. pretty cute stuff.

all my bags are packed, i'm ready to go...

travelin' oma assignment number three.

ten places that i would love to travel to someday (in no particular order):

1. paris
2. london
3. rome
4. switzerland
5. tahiti
6. new york city
7. hong kong (mostly, this one is for randy)
8. chicago
9. prague
10. grand canyon

most of the european cities should include the surrounding countryside as well. also, there are other places that i have been that i would like to go back to with more time and with randy, such as boston, hawaii, and washington d.c., but i figured that i wouldn't take a spot from places that i haven't been yet.

randy and i both want to travel a lot. we need to start figuring out how to do it now, regardless of the fact that we are low on cash and time. but for now, i can dream of the future. my ideal trip would be long enough that i get to do the things that i want to without having a jam-packed schedule, but not too long. because really, i am a home-body and don't like being away for that long. i do not like feeling rushed on vacation though and want down time without feeling like i am rushing from one activity to another. a delicate balance indeed.

randy and i both agree that our travel budget needs to include plenty of money for dining well (although we do realize that not all good food costs a lot of money). that is important to both of us and makes all the difference to me when i travel. no matter how many amazing sites i see, or how much i get to relax, if i eat poorly on a trip, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. dining well can make a mediocre trip much better. before planning any big trips, we will make sure to check for any anthony bourdain episodes featuring the destination and plan at least a couple of his eating experiences as part of our trip. good food is a must and will be a carefully planned part of our trips. no grabbing mcdonald's between museums for me.

we also want to include our children in (some of) our travels. my parents traveled with us, even when we were young and i learned many important life skills because of it. i am much more cultured because my parents took the time to talk to us while we traveled and teach us travel etiquette. i am grateful for the experiences that they have given me through travel. some of my favorite memories with my dad come from a trip that he and i took to portugal when i was 14 years old. randy and i have grand plans to plan trips with our children and let them be involved in saving for and planning the events of those vacations. i'll let you know how that goes...

Friday, December 18, 2009

grab a notebook

travelin' oma assignment number two.

how appropriate that this assignment is about things that get in the way of your writing. i am pretty sleepy right now and debating between a nap and writing. i convinced myself to write a shorter response to this assignment and then nap until madeleine wakes up. hopefully madeleine cooperates...

the assignment didn't include a lot of writing prompts, so i'm just going to respond to the suggestion to place several notebooks around in places where i often get ideas.

i actually already have several notebooks stashed around the house and have for a while. in my purse, on my bed stand, by the fridge, next to the computer, and a few other random places. some are beautiful moleskine notebooks that randy bought me for my birthday a couple years ago (okay, so maybe this was a direct suggestion to engage in creative writing), some are random notebooks acquired throughout the years, some are notepads, some are post-it note stacks. but they all serve the same purpose: to catch my thoughts.

except, they're not writing thoughts. they are to-do thoughts and they regurgitate themselves in list form onto these note receptacles. i have lists all over the place. lists of tasks to do that day, lists of long-term goals, lists of ideas for things to do with madeleine, lists of meals to make, and the lists go on...

i find that if i don't hurry and jot down these ideas as they come to my head, then they rattle around in my brain and distract me until i either write them down, or regretfully, forget them, which distracts me even more as i try to remember them. and as they rattle around, they seem to grow in size and i start to feel overwhelmed by all of the things that i think i need to do, when really, if i simply reduce them to a list, it seems manageable. thus, the myriad notebooks.

it's not that i don't have writing thoughts. i often craft blog posts or emails in my head long before they flow through the keyboard and into cyberspace. but they don't distract me quite as much as my task-oriented thoughts do. perhaps a good thing... but probably not. because if i don't get around to writing the thought down soon, i usually just forget the topic i wanted to write about or the words that i had masterfully strung together in my head. also, i've found that i can only retain so many writing thoughts in my head before there is no room left. so instead, i stop focusing on those thoughts.

and so, i think it is time for me to convert a few of my list notebooks into writing idea notebooks. to encourage the flow of those thoughts. perhaps the moleskines would like to fulfill their intended purpose...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

why i have a blog

first assignment from travelin' oma. here we go...

my initial response to the question of why i have a blog was that i mainly created a blog to post pictures of madeleine for jeanie. after all, a grandmother living out of state needs to have frequent updates on her grandchildren that are far away and i thought that a blog would be a great means of doing so. but, upon further reflection, i don't think that was the main reason that i started this blog. i think that it was the catalyst for starting the blog, but not my motivation. the main reason for starting this blog was for me to write more. creatively.

i have done a lot of writing in my life. those who know me well know that i keep a very thorough journal. it's compulsive, really. however, despite the tomes i have written that line my bookshelves, i do not claim to be a great writer. my journal is not juicy or filled with great insight (although i do hope there is the occasional gem in there). for the most part, it is simply a record of my daily acts - a log of sorts. it is therapeutic for me and informative on some level, but generally boring.

i have a very creative husband. he has also done a lot of writing in his life and has several journals of his own. but they are nothing like mine. they are flowing with creative writing, abstract phrases that represent his thoughts, and probably lack any detail about the mundane activities of his days. our children will definitely go to his shelf of journals if they want to read something interesting.

but, i try not to compare myself to randy. we are different personalities and will always have different writing styles, no matter how much creative writing i engage in. however, as should be the case with the person you marry, his constant creativity (not just in the writing arena) has inspired me to improve myself. creatively. not because of anything he says. just because of who he is.

and so, realistically, i think that is why i started a blog. as a creative writing outlet. because i figured that if i had an actual and immediate audience, i would be inspired to be a little less boring than i am in my journal. my blog isn't a replacement for my journal, it's just a chance to write more. creatively.

new resolve

let's be honest, i have not been very good about updating my blog lately. we've had pretty sparse posting with few pictures.

having said that, this is not an apology. i have had lots of reasons: moving (twice), having limited access to my own computer, pregnancy, spending time with madeleine before her world is rocked by a new little baby, and really, i haven't been taking many pictures lately, so i don't have many to post (not really a good excuse).

BUT. even though this is not an apology post, it is a post to kick my butt back into gear in the blogging world. because really, i miss it. i miss writing. i miss taking pictures of my adorable daughter for friends and family (and me) to see and keeping you updated on my life.

now that my life has calmed down a little bit and i have had a little more time to myself in the past week, i have decided that i want to start doing travelin' oma's school days writing seminar. many of you may be familiar with it from reading my mom and my sister's blogs. if not, you can read about it here. basically, it is a little writing seminar with prompts to get you going and work on writing about various topics. yes... i realize that technically it is over and done with and i missed the boat, but when it was actually going on, it wasn't really an ideal time for me to be doing it. perhaps now is not really a good time either.* but i'm going to try, because really, my life is only going to get busier.

and so, i have made myself semi-accountable to someone (is there anyone out there still reading my blog after this long hiatus? or after this long, rambling post?). look forward to more frequent posting, perhaps long winded in nature.

oh, and i will try to get more pictures up as well so that it's not all heavy prose.

*i like how i take on a big project like this seven weeks before i'm supposed to have a baby. just like i want to potty train madeleine, get her in a toddler bed, and take away her binkies before the baby comes, as well. don't worry, i'm not going to traumatize my child and will be okay with it if it doesn't really happen. but i REALLY want it to. especially potty training...