a false sense of security

travelin' oma assignment number five

i know that i have had embarrassing moments in my life. in fact, my life is probably one giant embarrassment. i know that i have some qualities that i am embarrassed by from time to time (my loud voice, my inability to keep my mouth shut about my opinions, etc.) and these are almost always the cause of my embarrassing moments, but i really can't think of many specific embarrassing moments in my life that have shaped me. certainly no large ones. which leads me to my next point...

i am oblivious. perhaps that is not an adjective that pops into your mind when you think of me, but in many ways, socially, i am oblivious. i often don't really notice people's social reactions to me. this can be a negative thing and i know that i've been insensitive to certain situations because of it, but it can also be a great self-defense mechanism. i was a HUGE geek in junior high and most of high school, but i didn't care because i really didn't notice it. i ate lunch and hung out with all my nerdy friends and i was happy in my geeky world. many people have terrible memories of junior high and were deeply insecure as teenagers. i was blessed with oblivion.

i was also blessed with parents that instilled me with great self-esteem. and so, even when i wasn't oblivious to my social situation, i often just didn't care because i was confident enough in myself and i knew that even if my peers didn't love me at the moment, i had plenty of people in my life who did love me. this has served me well throughout my life and is something that i will strive hard to pass on to my own children. i'm going to have to sit down with my parents and take some good notes.