advice to look back on in a few weeks

travelin' oma assignment number six

appropriately enough, my assignment for today is to leave advice for a new mom. i know that i'm not going to be a new mom in a month when i have our second baby, but i might as well be and have been trying to remind myself of all of that advice that i received two years ago because i know that it is going to be applicable all over again. not to mention the fact that even though i've already done this once, i can't seem to really recall what it was like in any amount of detail that would prove helpful (i think that loss of memory of sleepless nights, etc. is probably a self-defense mechanism). and so, i feel like i'm heading into motherhood with a newborn in many ways for the first time all over again. i've also been trying to set myself up with realistic expectations of what life is going to be like with two children instead of just one. a whole new ballgame...

here it comes, as fast as i can think of it...

have realistic expectations. only put basic things on your to-do list, and don't be hard on yourself if even those don't get done. showering is a feat many days.

accept help. you need it and other people (especially women who have been in your position) are happy to give it. if not, they wouldn't be offering it. you need it, so take it.

try to enjoy the time that you get with your tiny newborn. everyone says it and it may sound cliche, but it is true - they grow up so fast. on the other side of the coin, this is a good thing to remember when you haven't slept in hours and feel ridiculously sleep deprived. it really will pass and life will return to some form of what it was before faster than you think. it may feel like an eternity while you are going through it, but this too shall pass.

sleep when your baby sleeps. i am nervous to even write this because this is what i am most worried about with two. it was one thing to sleep when madeleine was napping because i didn't have another child to watch. now, i will definitely have to sleep if they are ever both sleeping at the same time and i will have to be okay with putting madeleine in front of a movie while diane naps and and sleeping next to her while she watches it. i need to put big stars next to this one. have i mentioned that i love sleep? a little worried about this...

there are so many other things, but these are the big ones that i remember and think that i will need in the coming months. i've also been reminding myself over and over that once diane comes, i need to remember to be sensitive to madeleine's needs and to be patient with her. it is going to be a major adjustment for madeleine and i need to remind myself that it is okay to let diane cry for a while sometimes to give madeleine attention first. remind myself that madeleine will need one-on-one time with me. remind myself that she is not acting out to drive me nuts, but because she misses me. and yet, also remind myself that she will live with a little less attention than she had before and that's okay too.

and that's only the tip of the iceberg. ah, the many unknowns i will face in the next few months. i will be living moment to moment, relying on my motherly intuition and many prayers, and trying to remember that we will all survive it together.

and perhaps, revisiting this post often.