my neighbor

i've never posted about my neighbor before. it's not that i haven't had plenty of stories worth sharing*, i've just decided not to delve into it. perhaps it helps me to pretend that we don't live in a sketchy neighborhood. but today was yet another story and i thought i would finally share. maybe it can become a weekly installment.

i was washing my windows that face his house and he was sitting outside with his friend. when he saw me, he waved (he is very friendly, but so very strange), took off his beanie**, pointed to his shaved head and yelled something. i couldn't understand what he yelled, so i took a big breath, braced myself, and went out on the porch.

me: what did you say?

his dog, sable, immediately runs toward me, barking loudly

him***: shut up sable! today i went in and grampslesh, wourhkluhsh (major slurring of speech at this point)

me: (feeling like an 80 year old woman who has lost her hearing and won't admit it) oh, really?

him: goirupwu, luurpsh.

me: (borrowing more material from my great-grandma, sarah) oh, that's nice!

*want a good story? ask me about his dog, his black eyes, his motorcycles, his perpetually covered windows, his plethora of beer cans, his friends (oh, his friends...), his yard, the snakes he captures and lets free in his car... (the list goes on).
**this was not necessary. his shaved head was quite the departure from his previous haircut, or prolonged lack thereof, and quite noticeable with or without the beanie.
***no, i don't know my neighbor's name