i've been thinking a lot about motherhood lately (for obvious enough reasons). i think that a lot of people think that i am crazy for being a full-time stay-at-home mom. i just finished my legal degree a little over a year ago, i had a successful and very enjoyable clerkship that i could have extended or used as a springboard into a high-paying and fulfilling job, i could easily justify working to put randy through school at least, but i'm staying at home instead?
first of all, let me say that education is never wasted. i feel like my legal education has made me a better person in so many more ways than a means to a legal career end. the critical thinking skills, experiences that i had in and through law school, and the practical experience that i have gained in legal matters will serve me and my family no matter what i do. second of all, i am not saying that women who do work, or put their husbands through school, or whatever, are doing the wrong thing.
but yes, i am staying home to be a mother and to care for my family full-time. this was not a rash, or ignorant decision. i have done the working mom thing, so i know what it is like and i know what i am giving up. but in the end, i chose motherhood because i feel like that is where i am supposed to be and where i am making the biggest difference. david o. mckay said, "no success can compensate for failure in the home," and i firmly believe that. i have been in the court system and seen what results when parents neglect their duties to put the time in and raise productive children with good values (obviously, not all wayward children are a product of parental neglect). i know that "the family is central to the creator's plan for the eternal destiny of his children." (from "the family: a proclamation to the world") parents must take responsibility for raising their children in righteousness and cannot rely on society to pick up where they are unwilling to fulfill their parental duties.
i am grateful for my own mother, who decided to sacrifice to be home with us and never made motherhood seem like a burden. i know that i am the person that i am because of my mom. she was there at the crossroads of my life. i remember fondly coming home and sitting at the kitchen table with my mom and telling her about my day, as if she had nothing better to do. because of her loving and constant attention in my life, i had high self-esteem and was able to accomplish more in schooling and other efforts. i hope to provide this constancy for my own children and feel like i would not be able to do it as well if i were trying to balance a career along with it.
i wish that more women felt comfortable deciding to stay home. i think that we feel a lot of pressure from society to be career women and to be "equal" with men in that arena. i have felt that pressure externally and internally. it feels good to be successful in a job, to have visible contribution and to receive recognition for your intellect and talents. but i also know that women have specially capabilities in nurturing children. i don't think that's an archaic value that society somehow imposed on us and i am ignorant for believing.
i am grateful for randy, who is willing to work hard and support us while still going to school. i know this isn't an easy balance for him, but he does it so that i can be home with madeleine. i love being home with madeleine. yes, there are days when i crave adult interaction at the end of the day and bombard randy when he steps in the door. i now have to take an active role in my own continuing education. but it's all worth it.
like i said before, this is not to say that mothers who work are doing the wrong thing either. nor does it mean that i will not consider opportunities that may come around requiring me to balance motherhood with work outside the home. i know that there are important things that i can contribute outside of my home as well. there are times and seasons in our lives. it only means that i will be very prayerful and careful in making those decisions. for now, i chose to be home.
first of all, let me say that education is never wasted. i feel like my legal education has made me a better person in so many more ways than a means to a legal career end. the critical thinking skills, experiences that i had in and through law school, and the practical experience that i have gained in legal matters will serve me and my family no matter what i do. second of all, i am not saying that women who do work, or put their husbands through school, or whatever, are doing the wrong thing.
but yes, i am staying home to be a mother and to care for my family full-time. this was not a rash, or ignorant decision. i have done the working mom thing, so i know what it is like and i know what i am giving up. but in the end, i chose motherhood because i feel like that is where i am supposed to be and where i am making the biggest difference. david o. mckay said, "no success can compensate for failure in the home," and i firmly believe that. i have been in the court system and seen what results when parents neglect their duties to put the time in and raise productive children with good values (obviously, not all wayward children are a product of parental neglect). i know that "the family is central to the creator's plan for the eternal destiny of his children." (from "the family: a proclamation to the world") parents must take responsibility for raising their children in righteousness and cannot rely on society to pick up where they are unwilling to fulfill their parental duties.
i am grateful for my own mother, who decided to sacrifice to be home with us and never made motherhood seem like a burden. i know that i am the person that i am because of my mom. she was there at the crossroads of my life. i remember fondly coming home and sitting at the kitchen table with my mom and telling her about my day, as if she had nothing better to do. because of her loving and constant attention in my life, i had high self-esteem and was able to accomplish more in schooling and other efforts. i hope to provide this constancy for my own children and feel like i would not be able to do it as well if i were trying to balance a career along with it.
i wish that more women felt comfortable deciding to stay home. i think that we feel a lot of pressure from society to be career women and to be "equal" with men in that arena. i have felt that pressure externally and internally. it feels good to be successful in a job, to have visible contribution and to receive recognition for your intellect and talents. but i also know that women have specially capabilities in nurturing children. i don't think that's an archaic value that society somehow imposed on us and i am ignorant for believing.
i am grateful for randy, who is willing to work hard and support us while still going to school. i know this isn't an easy balance for him, but he does it so that i can be home with madeleine. i love being home with madeleine. yes, there are days when i crave adult interaction at the end of the day and bombard randy when he steps in the door. i now have to take an active role in my own continuing education. but it's all worth it.
like i said before, this is not to say that mothers who work are doing the wrong thing either. nor does it mean that i will not consider opportunities that may come around requiring me to balance motherhood with work outside the home. i know that there are important things that i can contribute outside of my home as well. there are times and seasons in our lives. it only means that i will be very prayerful and careful in making those decisions. for now, i chose to be home.
3 comments:
Oh my gosh this post made me cry! I want to yell out "wahoo" or "hurrah" but neither would do it justice. All I can say is thank you. Madeline will too someday.
Thank you. I think each person has to decide what is best for you and your family. I loved working when I had to but now I LOVE being a SAHM. I wouldn't change it.
PS Thank you for watching Abbi while they were in town.
First of all, it was no sacrifice to stay at home. It was the joy of my life (still is - there is nothing better for me than when my children "come home" and tell me all about what is going on.
Second of all, referring to your Constitution Day post - you are amazingly articulate. (Thanks for going to law school for me, by the way)
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